The Road to Obesity is Paved with Potato Chips

I do believe the 3 month plateau from hell has left town. I have seen 3 consecutive weeks with a loss. I am still in the 260's but at least the scale is moving in the right direction now. Of course since I was doing so well I have now spent the last two days sabotaging all my hard work by eating my own weight in food….like for reals. Since Gilly, Joey and Read have been so brave as to confess their food sins I guess I'll belly up to the confessional too.…

It started Sunday. This is what I ate:

Weight Control Oatmeal
Cottage Cheese & Mandarin Oranges
Handful of regular potato chips with french onion chip dip
1/2 bag of BBQ Potato Chips
Red Lobster for supper:
1/2 of a Cheddar Bay Biscuit (HELLO! I have not even tried to eat one of those in almost a year!)
3 shrimp of a Shrimp Cocktail appetizer
All of my salad - Red Wine Vinaigrette dressing
I ordered the pick two - build your own dinner - with grilled salmon and a grilled shrimp skewer with the garlic mashed potatoes. I usually only eat about 1/2 of this. But not this time my pretties...I ate the whole damn thing - including the rice. RICE! Since when do I even like rice???
And because eating everything on my plate wasn't enough I started pillaging my husband's plate:
2 bites of lobster, 1 fork full of crab, and 2 of his shrimp scampi's.
AND THEN WE ORDERED DESSERT!!
And I ate 1/2 of the Apple Pie/Ice Cream thing.

And I never even got close to being stuck!! I kid you not!

Yesterday, the death wish continued:

Oatmeal
Broccoli Cheese Soup
2 slices deli ham w/ 1 slice Provolone
Zone Bar
1 Mini Snickers & 1 Mini Milky Way (damn candy jar on the secretary's desk!)

At this point when I left work I was at 910 calories. I planned on going home, having shrimp and cauliflower for supper and being a good girl.

You know what they say about the road to obesity and good intentions right?

My husband had a late class and I knew we wouldn't be eating until late so I decided to have a snack.

I shared a 90 calorie granola bar with my son. Then I had 5 slices of Pepper Jack Cheese and 20 Whole Grain Ritz crackers. Can that be considered a simple snack? No? Didn't think so.

So I started dinner. Tacos. They are my crack! I planned on shrimp, but changing the menu is just crazy talk. I mean, the menu is hanging on the fridge, it might as well be written in stone! Changing the menu has all kinds of repercussions, mostly to my own OCD-gotta have all my ducks in a row-sanity. So there I am with the pan of taco meat, and the taco chips, and the sour cream. And my husband says "Were you going to get a plate or just eat out of the pan?" So I make a salad with lettuce, meat, cheese, sour cream, guacamole, olives, and more taco chips. Good hell…I have NO self control when I am around chips. At least I still used the regular cereal bowl to make my salad and not the mixing bowl I used before I got my band.

And then I ate an oatmeal cookie and a white chocolate macadamia nut cookie before bed.

Is there really any question as to why the scales are up 2 pounds from Friday? Good Hell! I need to get my shit together and I need to do it NOW.

Today is a new day. I am going to do better. So far I have had yogurt with fresh strawberries. I have a fill scheduled for Wednesday. I haven't had one since the end of December and I am thinking I'm way over due for a fill.

So after reading over this I think I have realized a couple things. First, chips are a trigger, I cannot eat just a few, I cannot stop once I start, and I cannot keep them in the house anymore. Eating and snacking at work does not seem to be the problem….it's when I get home that all hell breaks loose. I'm not sure why but I need to figure it out, deal with it, and stop it. Easier said than done.

There are also some things bothering me that have to do with my mom and something she told me just before she died. I had forgotten all about it until a couple weeks ago and as I was standing on the scales I heard her saying it, like she was standing right there. I'm pretty sure it has a lot to do with why I'm sabotaging myself. I need to blog about it but I need to wrap my brain around it first.

I am still working out with my trainer twice a week and doing cardio on my own two other days a week. Pics of my workout are coming soon.

And Jen and Ms. M are coming to see me this weekend. I am so dang excited I could just burst!!

Have a terrific Tuesday everybody!!

I Zumba'd with a celebrity!

Wow! Time really flies. It feels like I was just posted a couple days ago. Guess I'd better get to catching up. I'll save the juicy Zumba story for later (aren't I a tease?)

• I've been sick this week. Like seriously shit on a cracker sick. Sinus infection, ear infections, and the flu. My head feels like it's going to explode. I spent two days home from work and was thinking oh goody I will have time to blog and read and relax. No way Jose'. The sinus headache put a big kabosh on that. But I'm here now and oh do I ever have a lot to catch up on. Please bear with me, I'm reading as fast as I can so my commenting is sparse but I am reading so don't throw rotten eggs at me.
• My scales are finally moving...ever so slowly but actually starting to move. As of this morning I have lost 3 pounds this week. Granted I know a lot of that is from being sick. But last week I lost 1.8 pounds. If I show another loss this week I'm going to take it as a sign that I have moved out of plateau town....it's about damn time...three months is way too long. Tomorrow is official weigh-in day so keep your fingers crossed for me.
• My trainer, Jenillian couldn't work with me for 1/2 hour twice a week, but for some reason she could do twice a week for an hour. Whatever. I called the supervisor at my gym and she assigned me a different trainer. HE is young....like barely shaving young. I was shocked when he told me he had graduated college and was married. I guess I'm just getting old. Anywhoo...he is doing a lot more strength training with me. And I love it!! I know I need cardio too but spending an hour on the hamster wheel is so damn mind-numbing! I don't know how Draz and Jen do it. I guess I haven't hit the endorphin high yet. Hell if I could feel that it might be worth it :) Before I got sick I could do an hour on the elliptical with an incline of 5 and resistance at 5, and 30 minutes of that I did intervals. It's a necessary evil...nothing more....nothing less.
• I have modified my goal for doing the Army PT test. I am not modifying the test, just the time frame. There have been 3 weeks that I have not been able to meet with my trainer, either because her kids were sick, I have been sick, or because the road was closed and I couldn't get home from Jackson Hole to make our appointment. So....my goal is still to pass the test but I'm not going to kill myself to make it by May 1st. Right now I just don't see it happening that soon. But I will do it and when I do I'm going to kick ass!
• Is anybody else besides me stalking the BOOB's blog? I swear I check that damn page three times a day thinking maybe something has been posted that maybe hasn't shown up in my blog roll. I am so excited to see everybody that I'm going to explode!!
• Ok...now for the big Zumba news. I know a lot of us watch The Biggest Loser. Weeeeeelllllll....Kaylee and Moses are from my town....they actually live on the same block but I have never talked to them. (I actually don't even know who my next door neighbors are and I have lived here almost 5 years...I like my privacy.) My oldest son and Kaylee went to high school together and my youngest goes to school with Kaylee's little sister. My boys say they are very nice girls. Back to Zumba....my sister talked me into going to a small Zumba class here in Podunk...small as in there were maybe 10 of us there. And guess who walked in after me and my sister? Yup, Kaylee. I seriously did not recognize her! TV really does add 30 pounds because she is so dang skinny!! She Zumba'd right next to me for the whole hour. I bumped into her twice when everybody else was going left and I went right...that's how coordinated I am . She was really nice about it and laughed it off. I got to talk to her a little afterwards. I saw her and her dad in the grocery store yesterday so he's home too. I have no idea how far out they tape and I didn't ask...since I overheard her tell someone else that she can't talk about the show until after the finale has aired. I'm going to have to keep going to Zumba so that when the finale airs I can get some good dirt on the other players hee hee ;)

I think that's about it for now. I'm going to go take a double dose of Nyquil and watch the Criminal Minds episode I missed last night. 

XOXO

Feeling Much Better

WOW!! I am so touched by the comments on my last post....several made me cry. I am so blessed and so thankful to be part of such a supportive and encouraging group of women. Thank you for being here for me and thank you for letting me know I'm not crazy and not alone. It really helps to know others have been where I am now. I love you all so much!!

And I am definitely going to Chicago. After all...I have dibs on getting into Carmen's pants :) . My husband found a really good deal to fly out of our city and not have to drive to Salt Lake so he bought the tickets for me. I am flying in on Thursday, I think I get to Chicago at 5:45, and I leave Sunday at 6:00 pm.  I have a connection in Salt Lake but it's no biggie and well worth it.

I really am feeling better. I think it's a combination of getting all my frustration out in my last post, the weather has been a little warmer the past couple of days, and my meds are finally kicking in. Now if the scale would just move then I could start farting gum drops again.

I am going to ask my trainer if she will work with me twice a week for 1/2 hour each day instead of just one day for a whole hour. I really need to work with her twice a week and I can do the cardio stuff on my own but I really need her help with the hard stuff. I'll let you all know what she says. I also talked to her about how my scales are stuck. She says that's to be expected but if they don't move in the next week or so then we will try something different.

Again, thank you all so much for all your support and kind words. It really means more to me than I could ever say.