Bedhead for Dazee

Ok Dazee this is for you. Just cause you make me laugh and I big fluffy purple heart you!!

If you don't follow Dazee then you are really missing out. She is sassy and sarcastic and funny as hell...and I love her field trips. So if you don't follow her then you should. Cause really, your day isn't complete without a dose of Dazee.

This week Dazee challenged her followers to post a pic of their bedhead. Yes really. And I fell for it.

So, here it is....but first a little disclaimer that I will delete these pics after a few days...cause really...this is not flattering in the least.

Time for a lip wax?

The toilet in the background really makes it special, don't you think?

My Confession

I have a confession....



I ate 1/2 of a glazed donut for breakfast. It didn't taste as good as I remember it.



That is all.

Going Private.....sort of

I've been thinking for awhile now about how I wish I could start my blog over and what I would do differently if I could. Then Drazil talked about doing just that. And one of our Boob's took the leap and started fresh. So I decided to stop thinking about it and actually do something about it.

I started toying with names for a new blog, code names for my family and me, and how I would want my new blog to look. And I started worrying about whether my followers would follow me to a new blog, and what about all the blogs I follow....it would take me forever to put all those on a new blog. The more I thought about it the more overwhelming it became.

I really like my current blog, and I like the name....it just fits me. I don't have anyone following my blog that I'm not comfortable with...I'm just trying to avoid any of my family or co-workers from stumbling across it and figuring out it's me. And I don't want to feel like I can't talk about something if it would hurt someone's feelings if they found my blog. So I started thinking....what if I made my current blog private? What would I have to do to make that happen and would it even be possible at this stage? What if I removed all the identifying information on my blog? Would that work? I hope so because that's what I did. All proper names and  for me, my husband and my children have been changed. Photos have been deleted. References to where I live have also been deleted.

When I was at BOOB's and I walked into the room where Draz and Jenny were handing out the t-shirts and goodie bags someone called me Donut Butt. And I liked it. So that's me now. I hope my followers will stick with me. I promise I'm not changing who I am. The only thing changing are the names and places to protect the innocent...or not so innocent as the case may be.

XOXO

I'm going to need bail money!

I just need to vent for a minute. I can't really yell at my husband for his ex-wife being an irresponsible, lazy,  cretin so I'm here and you'll just have to bear with me. Or not. I'm not writing this really for feedback, but just to get it out. So if you don't want to read this I'm ok with that. And you might regret it if you do. Just warning you. This is not a pretty side of me!

So hubby and I thought it would be a great idea to take advantage of the lower mortgage rates right now and refinance my house. I bought it with my ex-husband and then I got it in the divorce. And I thought it would be a good time to put my husband on the mortgage, ya know, since we're married and he pays his fair share of the bills and all.

We've been going through the motions, getting all the documentation, had the appraisal done, ready to close by the end of October and way excited that we won't have to make a November house payment so we can do Christmas shopping and maybe a trip to Utah to see friends and family.

BUT that freaking bitch face has screwed things up AGAIN! It turns out that she never refinanced their house to take hubby's name off it. AND she was 30 days late on a payment less than a year ago. I am going to rip her arms off and beat her with the bloody stumps, then I'm going to rip her head off and shit in the hole!! I am so fucking pissed!!!

This pisses me off so freaking bad because I am anal about bills, I protect my credit score like one of my children. I check it at least twice a week. I consider myself a responsible consumer. So, when someone that makes 10 times what I do and has at least 4 more years of college then me can't get her act together to pay her bills on time and follow through on a court order to have husband's name off the house loan...oh over a year ago she was supposed to do it. I GET PISSY!!

So...husband's credit shows a late house payment within the last year AND with her $2000/mth house pymt figured into our debt to income ratio it totally kills us! Did I mention I'm mad as hell?

And will my husband say anything to her about it? Hell no! They don't talk. The extent of their communication is him texting her to find out where to pick up and drop off their son for visitation. It's like he's scared of her or something and it pisses me off. So, it looks like I'm going to have to get in the middle of it, which I didn't want to do.You just don't mess with my credit! You just don't!!

We've already been turned down by 2 lenders because of her bullshit. Talk about being beyond embarrassed when the broker called to tell me. The mortgage broker is still trying for us, so hopefully he'll come through.

I know times are hard for everybody, so please don't anyone think I'm looking down my nose at anyone having a hard time right now. I'm not. I've been at the bottom of the barrel and I know it sucks big donkey dicks. But this is just so typical of her to do something like this and quite frankly this is the last straw! She is not in any financial stress right now. She has a maid for just her and an 8 yr old child in a 5 bedroom house. She takes professional golf lessons. She goes on week-long guided hunting and fishing trips. She has a Lexus, a Prius, and a 1/2 ton truck. She goes on week-long vacations every other month. She has no reason or excuse for this other than just being lazy!! I swear it's a good thing I'm at work because if I ran across her right now I'd have to do my next blog from jail. They have computers in jail, right?


Rant over. And no, I don't feel any better. But it's Friday and after work I'll go to the gym and work off a lot of agression and then I'll have a couple drinks. And then maybe I'll feel better.

The 5K and Gluttony

I finished the 5K!! My time was 59:32 and I was the 111th woman across the finish line. We didn't finish last, but only 4 people came in after us. I know my husband could have done it a lot faster but he stayed right with me, encouraging me, and not letting me get discouraged. It was only 37 degrees when we started. This is us at the finish line. I had my best supporters with me - my husband and my BOOBs.

Last night we went to the themed-suite inn we stayed in the caveman room . It was so awesome! I swear I want one of their jacuzzi tubs in my bathroom. The tub fills from a waterfall that comes out of the ceiling. Waking up to rocks over my head was pretty cool too. As we were sitting in the tub, talking, and it was so peaceful, I thought Wow!...now I know why Drazil loves her baths with Rambo so much!

In band news...My eating this weekend has been absolute shit! The only good part was yesterday before the 5K I had a Zone bar, then after the race I had 1/2 banana and a 1 oz chedder cheese stick. It went downhill fast from there. For lunch we went to Famous Dave's BBQ and I had a dinner salad with ranch and chicken strips from the kids menu with Drunken Apples (baked apples in cinnamon and amaretto OMG I want to die swimming in a huge vat of this stuff!). It really got bad at the hotel. They give you a choice for breakfast of a 'goody basket' where you can pick stuff off a list like yogurt, muffins, chips, candy bars, fresh fruit, croissants, etc. or 2 gift certificates for breakfast at Perkins. Hubby wanted the goody basket, so I got yogurt, mandarin oranges, fritos, peanut butter cookies, and cheesecake (we each could pick 5 things off the list). That wouldn't have been so bad except we also got pizza (thin crust so not so bad) and I only had one piece. But then I ate 1/2 of a bag of Ruffles with about 1/3 of a small container of Dill Pickle chip dip. OMG! do not let anyone tell you that you can't get full or stuck on chips....trust me...if you eat enough of them fast enough you will get stuck. Just saying. I've done shit for water too. The only positive thing I can say is that I bought a Diet Pepsi last night to eat with the pizza and popcorn but I didn't drink it, I drank a quart of water instead, and we didn't even pop the popcorn.

Today wasn't much better. I ate the yogurt for breakfast, with the peanut butter cookies. For lunch I had left-over pizza and the cheesecake. For supper we had fast food, I got halibut, deep fried of course...but I didn't get fries.

I'm not trying to be flip about what I ate, just being honest with myself and putting it out there. So when I want to bitch about not losing any weight this week I won't have a reason to complain. I haven't had a day of eating crap like this since before I was banded, and I'm not going to make it a habit. It was just a crazy weekend. Tomorrow I'll be back on track, drinking all my water, eating healthy food, and going to the gym. C'est la vie.

I'm off to catch up on blogs. XOXO

I’ll get to the 50 in a minute (I'm such a tease hee hee)

I turned the big 4-0 on Monday. I still can't believe I'm actually 40 freaking years old! I don't feel 40. I don't want to feel 40. I guess the thing that bothers me the most about it is that when my mom was 40 she only had 3 more years to live. 40 was the beginning of the end for my mom. And when she was 40 and I was 20 she seemed old and tired. She really was tired, she had cancer raging through her body and didn't know it, but was feeling the effects of it. It's hard, thinking what my mom might have done differently if she had known she was only going to live 3 more years. What would I do if I only had 3 years to live? What would you do?

And then I think about my life. How much I love my life, finally! I love where my relationships are, my kids, my dad, brother & sisters are all getting along for the 1st time in over 15 years. We are almost out of debt, except for the house. And I'm healthier than I have been in over 13 years. And I don't want it to end!! My husband and I were married last year, he is 43. And it's sad for me to think that he and I will most likely never celebrate a 50 year anniversary. I'll never get to see the look on his face by telling him he's going to be a daddy. I'll never get to take a picture of him sleeping with our child laying on his chest. I wouldn't want to have another kid now even if I could. But thinking about all the things that will never be possible is very sad for me. I feel like my own mortality is staring me in the face and I'm not sure how to deal with it.

Moving on because all this downer crap sucks….

Tomorrow is the big 5K day! Let me fill you in on the weather forcast for tomorrow. Maybe the best way to do this is to compare today's forcast with tomorrow's:
Today: Hi-66*, Lo-40*, Mostly Sunny, at 9:52 AM it is 37*
Tomorrow: Hi-63*, Lo-39*, Mostly Sunny with 30% Chance of Rain
The 5K starts 9:00 AM.
So…It's going to be just a few degrees above freezing, and it could be raining to boot. I did a 5K on the treadmill twice this week. The first time I thought I was going to die, the second time, last night, I was ok. If I don't freeze to death then I think I might be able to finish it. I'm going to buy sweatpants and a sweatshirt to wear since I don't think my yoga pants and tank top are going to offer much warmth. I'm planning on taking knit gloves and a scarf too. If I make it to the finish line then my husband will take a picture and I'll post it. Honestly, I would like to find the aliens that kidnapped me, probed me, and implanted the assinine idea in my head of doing a 5K in October. Kidnapped by aliens, yup, it's my only excuse for such a stupid idea. Say a prayer for me :)

Tomorrow (after a hot shower and a nap) hubby and I are running away. We are going to an inn about an hour south that has theme suites. I love theme suite inns!! Last year I got to pick our get-away. It was incredible!! This year it's his turn to pick. I'm so excited!! We're going to order take-out, watch movies on the big screen TV and have lots of dessert :)

In weight loss news…

I finally made it to *50* pounds down..YEA!!! I actually saw it last week but didn't want to say anything until I saw it for 2 weeks in a row just to make sure it was for real. It took me 63 days to lose 10 stupid pounds. So aggravating!! This week I didn't lose anything, in fact I am up 2/10 of a pound. But it's still a full 50 pound loss so I'm not feeling too bad about it. I've really noticed the past month that my weight loss has slowed down a bunch. I've gone from losing a good 1.5-2 pounds a week to barely 1 pound a week. My friend at work, who is the only one at work that knows I have a band, says I'm losing inches and she can see it in my butt and my calves. Hmph. I want to see it on the damn scales!

I'm sorry I haven't been blogging very much. Life has been crazy, I've been at the gym almost every night, and I've been reading a new book. I'll try to do better. And I'm way behind on blogs, I try to read a few here and there when I'm at work but I know there are so many that I am missing. I'm hoping I'll get some time Sunday night to catch up.

I think that's it for now. Have a fantabulous weekend!!  XOXO

Karma is a real bitch

So....I haven't posted in over a week. And there is a really good reason. I hate eating crow! And I knew that to be completely honest, full disclosure, and all that happy horse shit that I'd have to come on here and set the record straight....on more than one thing. And I hate crow!!

In my last post I was pretty proud of myself that I didn't need a seat belt extender on the flight to Chicago. I was ecstatic. And feeling pretty full of myself. Evidently Karma heard my mental high fives and decided I could not possibly be allowed that much self esteem. And she hit me where it hurt. I had the honor of flying back to Salt Lake with Band Babe. She is skinny and HOT and I love her to pieces!! So when I found out we were on the same flight I was super excited. When we got to the gate I got our seats changed so we could sit together. I had a seat in the exit row and the seat next to me was empty so they just moved her to so she could sit next to me. I was loving the thought of extra leg room!!

I have to jump back a year for a just a minute so I can give a full background on this so you will understand why not needing an extender and being able to sit in the exit row is so important to me. I'll try to make it short.

In March my husband and I went to Las Vegas. On the flight back we were assigned seats in the exit row. I was so happy for my husband that he could stretch out his legs. He had a bad knee that he needed to stretch out and all the walking we did in the previous 3 days was really bothering him. (He has since had surgery on his knee and it's much better.) So, we got on the plane, I asked for an extender belt, went to our seats, buckled in and was half asleep when the flight attendant came by to make sure everyone's seat belts were clicked. I swear she yelled for everyone to hear 'You can't sit here. We don't allow people that need extenders to sit in the exit row.' I was mortified and I didn't want to make a scene. So I just said ok and said I would move. And of course my husband wouldn't stay there without me, although I told him it was ok. In the row behind us were two anorexics that I swear didn't weigh 150 pounds between them. They literally jumped up and squealed 'We'll take their seats.' The flight attendant asked if they were over 18. They were in there 30's. So, I got humiliated and they got flattered. I sat down in the seat behind the exit row and I tried really hard not to cry but I couldn't help it. I was so embarrassed for my husband and I was embarrassed for me. And I wanted to give that flight attendant a lesson in tact. I swore I would NEVER put anyone I traveled with in that situation again.

So, back to the flight home from Chicago. When we got on the plane I didn't ask for an extender, didn't even think for a minute that I would need one. Lara and I got to our seats. I sat down. I wrapped the seat belt around me. It wouldn't go around me, and not by an inch or if I really pulled it tight and sucked my gut in, we're talking at least 6 inches short of going around me. I didn't want Lara to see that after my brag-fest about not needing an extender that now I couldn't get a seat belt around me. But she did. And I started to feel a panic attack coming on. A great weekend, a new awesome friend, and I'm going to ruin it all with my fat ass, just like before. I swore I was not going to cry!! So I did the only thing I could think of. I stood up, buckled the seat belt in the seat and then sat on the seat belt. I pulled my jacket down so it looked like it was covering the seat belt. And I prayed I wouldn't get caught. The flight attendant came down the isle and I saw where she was asking people to lift up their shirts to make sure they had their seat-belt done up and I was sure I was busted. But I didn't make eye contact and when she asked if I had my seat-belt on I lied through my teeth and said Yup. She didn't make me lift up my jacket thank God! As the plane took off I was thinking please God do not let us hit turbulence because I am screwed if I really need that seat-belt. I will never again even try to sit in the exit row. I have learned my lesson!!

Also, in Chicago I mentioned that I have never BP'd. I was actually hoping someone would BP so I could see what it was, and I even have the audacity to say such a thing to my roommates. I was even feeling a little cocky about it, thinking I must be one of the 'special people' that just never BP. Well, once again Karma heard me and decided to give me taste of my own medicine. And that she did, tonight, at Applebees no less. I didn't even feel it coming and didn't have time to run to the bathroom. I was a little stuck and I was trying to burb like I normally do to get unstuck except this time I got a present with my burp. Thanks Karma!!

And because everything comes in 3's.....

I found Jen's three pounds she lost in Chicago. They followed me home on my ass. Personally I think they looked better on Jen. I was at 279.0 the Friday before we left for Chicago. I didn't lose anything the next week which I totally expected because I didn't get to the gym all that week. When I got home from Chicago and stepped on the scales Monday morning I was not a happy camper. I went to the gym three days in a row and Thursday I walked the trail at the river. So that made four days in a row that I worked out. And today, Monday, I am back at 279.0. It took me a week to lose Jen's three pounds!! Peachy!!!

And while I'm on the bitch wagon.....

I turn 40 next week. I have a really hard time saying that. And I'm having a really hard time accepting this birthday for several reasons that I won't bore you with right now. Anyway, I really wanted to lose 50 pounds by my birthday, which is 2 pounds away. So I'm really going to bust my ass this week and try to make it to my birthday goal. I really need something positive to come of this birthday!

Bitching & Moaning done.


I'm still trying to download BOOB's pics from and as soon as I get a few together then I will do a BOOB's post. My internet has been really slow so it's taking almost 20 minutes to download one picture.

Have a Terrific Tuesday!!