Catching up with bullets....

I haven't posted anything in quite a while so I thought I'd take a few minutes and get you caught up. I think the best way to do this is with bullets. Too bad we don't have a Christmas themed bullet list. Oh well, I guess you'll have to suffer with the boring old stuff.

• I have a few new followers. How does that happen when I haven't even been blogging?? Thank you so much for following me!! And thank you to all my followers for not ditching me while I had the covers pulled over my head ignoring the world. I'm going to try to blog more. Please be patient with me, winters are hard on me and the winter blues are setting in hard this year.

• Thanksgiving kicked my ass. I haven't been to the gym since the Monday before Thanksgiving. I've gained 3 pounds from my lowest. But, I've lost 1 pound from my highest since Thanksgiving. I haven't been tracking calories or protein and I haven't been getting enough water. I need to get motivated but for various reasons I could really give a shit less right now.

• Last weekend was a B.A.D. weekend. My husband and I have been having some serious problems with his family, mostly because they believe I am the spawn of satan because I have tattoos, I love my gay family and friends, I'm fat, and I have 2 children from different fathers, among other various unforgivable sins. To make a long story short we have spent the past 2 years of Thanksgiving and Christmas with his family. When we left his sister's house on Christmas Eve last year I had BITCH written on my window....such a loving Christian sentiment don't you think? And of course nobody will take credit for it. For Valentine's Day his mom handed out personalized Valentines to all the kids except my son.  This year due to their attitude and making me and my kids feel like shit we have decided not to attend any holiday parties at their homes. And they are so pissed because it's all my fault they don't get to see their grandson...not Wade, just his son. Makes my husband feel real good! So last weekend we decided to have lunch with his parents...in a public place...to talk about things and try to bury the hatchet. BAD IDEA!! They brought the hatchet alright...but not to bury it. It's not a good sign when before you even get seated your father is threatening you with a law suit for grandparents visitation rights....which don't really even exist in Idaho. He obviously didn't think I'd know anything about that. It was awful! I was attacked and yelled at and at one point I swear his dad was going to hit me. My husband was trying to stick up for me as best he could. I don't get pushed around easily and yes, I yelled back. I stood my ground. I stuck up for my husband, my kids, and me. And when both his mom and dad yelled at me to shut up I told them they had no right to speak to me that way. I was called a liar. They said they wished Wade had never met me. His dad accused me of writing BITCH on my own window just to cause problems. I left the restaurant in tears. I bought a pack of cigarettes and a Diet Dr. Pepper. I smoked 1 cigarette and walked back to the hotel, which was about a mile, in the snow. I just wanted to be alone. That night at the Army Christmas Party I drank a lot of vodka. It was a BAD weekend!!

• I have decided I need a new exercise goal. I accomplished my goal to walk a 5K and I felt really good about it. I'm hoping a new goal will get my ass to the gym and get me motivated. My new goal.......is to pass the Army Reserve PT test. The soldiers in the Army Reserve have to pass it two times a year. And I'm going to do it this spring. It's not crazy bad...but enough to be a real challenge. I will need to do 16 push ups (real ones from the toes, not sissy ones from the knees) in less than 2 minutes, 36 sit ups in less than 2 minutes (it might be a few more than that, I forget the exact number right now), and walk 2.5 miles in 39 minutes. This all has to be done one after the other. I have NEVER done a push up before so this will be interesting. The FRG (Family Readiness Group) president is going to do it with me and I think we're going to get some of the other wives/girlfriends/husbands/boyfriends to do it with us. We're going to wear Army shirts and everything.

• Christmas sucks! I am really not feeling it. My family has not done a Christmas party together since before my mom died but I decided to throw one together this year. My dad is even coming from Utah for it....that is HUGE considering he has NEVER accepted an invitation for dinner at my home in my entire life! I've got a lot of fun things planned but I haven't even put up Christmas decorations yet. I just can't get into it but I don't want to let my family down. The plain and simple fact is that I miss my mom. I miss her terribly. And Christmas just isn't the same without her and it never will be. Christmas was my mom's favorite holiday and every little decoration, every song, every twinkling light is a screaming reminder that she's not here and never will be again. I'm crying now just writing this. It's been almost 17 years since she passed away...and it never gets easier.

•  I think I'll leave on a happier note. This is a comparison of the three years that my husband and I have been together and that we have gone to the Army Christmas Party. Thanks to Jen and her fabulous tutorial for the instructions on how to do a collage. I cannot believe the difference in my face! And yes, that is my Chicago dress.