Things have been a little better the past couple of days with my husband and me. We had a long talk and he admitted there were some things that he could work on to make things better. And he has done much better. He has disciplined his son twice and he has supported me when I have told his son to pick up clothes and take a bath. He told me he doesn't want a divorce anymore and wants to work on our marriage. We have another counseling appointment Monday and I'm really looking forward to it.
Tuesday we are going to his grandmother's funeral in the town where his family lives, 3 hours away. When my husband's father called him to tell him he actually asked my husband if I would be coming. I'm pretty sure he didn't call my husband's sisters and ask them if their husbands would be coming...sheesh! My husband is a pall bearer so I will be on my own for most of the funeral. And his father told him he wants to talk to my husband ALONE...and my husband agreed to it. Nothing like six hours in a car on slick roads, family that would rather it be my funeral, and all the emotions that go along with a funeral to set off a fire storm of anxiety attacks and cold sores. Incidentally, his grandmother was 94 and had Alzheimer's for the better part of the past 10 years. It is always sad whenever a family member passes but in this case it was not unexpected and she is finally with her husband again...she is at peace.
This afternoon when I got home from work my husband told me he needed to talk to me about something. A few days before Christmas he received a call his from his 1st Sergeant. There is a new list and he's on it. The list is a made up of soldiers selected for deployment. The whole unit won't be going at once so he won't have the support of his guys...they are parting the unit out to other units across the country. So not fair!! The 'D' word. Deployment. This will by his 3rd. And deployments are for a whole year. It looks like he will be leaving in November. But this is the military we're talking about so it could be anytime from this summer to Spring 2011. I need to be able to plan and make lists and not knowing makes that almost impossible. Things are going to change....in a big way. Looks like next year we could be doing Christmas in October. If I thought my world was turned upside down over the past month then I was kidding myself. THIS turns my world upside down. 'Deployment' is the one word I fear as much as 'cancer'. It changes families, it changes lives, and you're never the same again. This scares the shit out of me!!
Enough crying today....it's time to party!!
We're off to my sister's to eat, drink and be merry. Everyone have a safe and happy new year!!
XOXO
I am glad you and your husband have been working on things. It is so hard when there is tensions between step children and step mothers. I am also sorry his family is hard to handle. I hope that the funeral goes off without to many hiccups! I am truly sorry your hubs is being deployed. Thank you and your hubs for looking out for all of us! Huge sacrifice to say the very least!
ReplyDeleteOMG - how much shit can one woman go through? I don't know how you are still standing. I get hives reading about this. God I wish I could go with you to the funeral to hold your hand so you weren't alone. Rambo's dad once asked to talk to Rambo alone - without me - and I said never again. We're a team - what you say to one you say to the other. Or you don't talk to us. I hope all goes well.
ReplyDeleteGeez girl. Where is this funeral. 3 hours what way? do I need to be there with you so I can hurt anyone that decides to be mean to you? I would be there if you need me.
ReplyDeleteOh goodness...I hope you can catch a break soon! I'm so glad you guys are working on your marriage. You seem so good together and he is a LUCKY, LUCKY man to have you. I just hope he realizes it as much as the rest of us who love you do. XOXO
ReplyDeleteI'm praying for you girl. So sorry to hear that you're having such a rough time. :(
ReplyDeletexoxoxo
D
I'm sorry. That is a lot to deal with. I hope things with your husband get better with counseling. I think its a huge positive sign that he is willing to go with you.
ReplyDeleteI hope you & your husband can work it all out.
ReplyDeleteI hope you had a great time at your party because you certainly deserve it. My husband's side of the family is Dysfunctional with a capital D so I can totally relate to family issues. So sorry to hear about your husband. That really sucks.
ReplyDeleteWhew, I thought "diet" was the "d" word...
ReplyDeleteYou've got so much going on. You seem up to the challenge today, just hold onto to those kinds of days (or moments).
Happy New Year- and you know where to find me if/when you need it during this busy upcoming year for you. Love you so much!
Well I don't know that this is the greatest solution, but I heard alot of soldiers are refusing deployment based on the illegitimate leader of the counrty thing. Obama was not born in the US, and therefore is not elibile to be the president.
ReplyDelete